Ask Liz! Is flaking bad if I’m feeling anxious or unwell? Do I have to tell them exactly how I’m feeling?


“Is flaking bad if I’m feeling anxious or unwell? Do I have to tell them exactly how I’m feeling?” -Anonymous Dear Anonymous,

Thank you for submitting your question! If you’re feeling unwell, it’s probably best to flake. You don’t really want to get others sick-but are you feeling sick from a sickness or your anxiety? One thing my therapist has mentioned is whether my anxiety is stopping me from participating in things. Does your anxiety cause you to not participate in activities/outings? Is it stopping you from enjoying yourself/life? These are some things to think about in regards to whether you should flake or not. It’s okay if you need to flake, but just think about why your anxiety is stopping you.

In regards to your second question, who is it you’re flaming on? If it’s friends you definitely could, but it also depends on whether they understand your anxiety. If it’s for an appointment or a meeting you don’t need to tell them (I usually make up some excuse or tell them honestly-I can’t lie for crap). If you’re sick, it’s a good excuse to get out of things.

I hope this helps! Just remember you can make it through the anxiety jump to enjoy life. It just takes practice. Don’t beat yourself up for not going through with something. Did you think about why your anxiety is stopping? If so you’ve made a small step! If not, there’s always next time, but I encourage you to push yourself. Don’t let anxiety trap you. Believe me it’s no fun.

As Always, Love and Less Anxiety,


If you or anyone you know is struggling please reach out to the statewide crisis hotline at 1-888-568-1112


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